Newly appointed Manchester City manager, Sven Goran Eriksson stunned the football world today by opening the transfer kitty and swooping within hours of his appointment, to announce two high profile signings from two major Premiership rivals. The new arrivals are a combative 24 year old midfielder and an experienced, classy central defender Joey Barton (Newcastle - £18.4 million) Silvain Distin (Portsmouth - £7.2 million)
Seven weeks ago on this blog, I predicted that Manchester City would appoint a foreign manager. ‘However, I have a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that, in seven weeks, Manchester City Football Club are going to appoint a foreign manager.’ I also suggested the name of ‘Sven Goran Eriksson’ as the most likely candidate to be appointed. Now, seven weeks ago, you could get decent odds from your local bookie on Eriksson being appointed: 100-1 in fact....
Moss Side, near Manchester, England - Friday 22 June 2007 The hopes and dreams of the loyal and long suffering supporters of the popular football club, Manchester City, were cruelly shattered last night when the former Thai Prime Minister, Thaksin Shinawatra suddenly withdrew from takeover negotiations and and unexpectedly deposited his £81 million from a brown paper bag into an unnamed Swiss bank account. In an exclusive interview, Mr. Shinywart explained:...
I always had a lot of time for the outgoing Manchester City manager, Stuart Pearce. Well his press conferences and musical tastes, anyway. However, I have a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that, in seven weeks, Manchester City Football Club are going to appoint a foreign manager. This appointment will come after the City board initially go after ‘big Sam Allardyce’ and offer to rename him ‘MASSIVE’. City are shocked to be rejected by Allardyce who has already signed up at Newcastle and is merely arguing over additional ex-gratia payments in brown bags to be exchanged at Washington services on the A1....
Henry Spencer’s unforgettable ‘10 Commandments for C Programmers' Once more, with feeling just for West Ham. ‘He plays on the left, he plays on the right…’ MUFC > England.
The Guardian’s Rob Smyth has a fascinating article where he eats humble pie and ranks Manchester United’s nine Premiership titles. Curiously enough, I have also given this matter a lot of thought over the weekend. I place this title second after Alex Ferguson’s very first Premiership victory back in 1992-1993. Not because that team was better (it wasn’t) but because of all the history, the expectation, the broken dreams, the false dawns in preceding 26 years and the satisfaction of lifting the title and finally knocking Liverpool off their perch....
Dear Paul You are 32 years old and a fantastic footballer. You are still producing moments of breathtaking brilliance (lobbed pass for Rooney versus AC Milan). You are one of my favourite players at Manchester United. However, let’s face it. You can not tackle to save your life. If you get booked and United beat AC Milan tonight, you will miss your second European Cup Final. This would be hard for me to take so God knows how you would feel....
Apologies for the delayed transmission but the events of last Saturday left me traumatised and deeply shocked. You might find it hard to believe that a once great club has been relegated to Division 2. You might even shed a tear for the diminutive, chirpy, cheeky Cockney who manages this football club. You might hope and pray that this sleeping giant makes a rapid return to the heady heights of, err, the Championship....
In recent weeks, this esteemed publication (Daily Excess) has been critical of Wayne Rooney’s recent performances for Manchester United. One article ‘Rooney is finished’ questioned his future, his commitment, his mental state and his footballing ability. We ran a story that incorrectly claimed Rooney was ‘furious and livid’ at the amount of media attention, fulsome praise and PFA awards being given to his team-mate and rival, Cristiano Ronaldo. After his performance and two wonder goals on Saturday, the Daily Excess is proud to announce an unreserved, unequivocal and heartfelt apology to Wayne (John, Paul, Ringo, George) Rooney of Wilmslow, Cheshire....
How the big clubs approach the problem… Manchester United - Alex Ferguson chooses to invite Jose Mourinho to the boardroom to share a bottle of expensive Portuguese wine. Pointedly applaud United fans who chant ‘Your coat’s from Matalan’ on the way to the tunnel. Then shut up and assemble a team that actually looks capable of challenging Chelsea. Liverpool - Appeal to the House of Lords, the Citizen’s Advice Bureau and the European Court of Human Rights after Mourinho has the audacity and bare faced cheek to put his finger to his mouth after a Chelsea goal in the Carling Cup Final....